Sex in a flatshare: the very serious statistics!
When we live in a flatshare, we share a lot. A flat, beers, rent… There is absolutely no doubt, conviviality is one of the biggest advantage when flatsharing. However, some privacy is sometimes needed. Having an active sex life when you live in a flatshare can be tricky. Here are some statistics (a bit crappy, we admit) that prove it.
1 – 99% of flatmates …
declare that they use their “private browser” function since they’ve been living in a flatshare.
N.B: The 1% left is the flatmates are aged +85 years old.
2 – 83% of flatmates…
complain when they hear sex noises.
N.B: A pack of 3 pair earplugs costs £3.49 on Amazon.
3 – 100% of flatmates…
of the previous 83% confess listening to the sex noises to judge their flatmates’ performances.
N.B: No pressure, at least, you are performing.
4- 43% of flatmates…
say they prefer to separate their budget dedicated to Kleenexes.
N.B: Little tip here, toilet paper is softer.
5- 97% of flatmates…
declare suspecting their flatmate had sex on the couch, but denies it.
N.B: The IKEA KNOPPARP couch is cheap (79£), but isn’t very comfy for this kind of stuff. Think about it when you choose your couch.
6 – 100% of flatmates…
of the previous 97% admit they have already had sex on the couch too (87% of them declare “it was so cool”).
N.B: The second favorite spot is under the shower.
7- 35% of flatmates…
already had sex in their flatmate’s bed, without telling him/her and (87% of them declare “it was so cool too”).
N.B: Make sure to know how the bed was made before you start having fun. You can then make it exactly as it was before. No evidence.
8- 84% of flatmates…
have already been walked in on by an intrusive pet.
N.B: If you want to get rid of it, https://www.rspca.org.uk offers a tool that shows you where the nearest RSPCA is. (just kidding, we love cats at Weroom!)
Moral of the story:
– Private browser, always.
– Invest in ear plugs.
– Buy chairs rather than couches
– Change your bed sheets (now)
– Adopt a goldfish
Enjoy, protect yourself !